Recently, after a break up and friendships torn apart, true colors of people began to show through. I, for one, do not take lightly to all the lies that had spread around, because once a lie starts, more are sure to follow. Rather than put all my business over what happened out there, I'd rather talk about the general sense of what bugs the SHIT out of me. (and yes I am cursing because it bugs me...that much...)
The fact is, you never truly know a person's soul until you hit rock bottom. For most it can be cheating, death of a loved one, money problems, etc. but when you do hit these moments, how strong, how much, and how sure are you that you know the people around you? How sure is it that the friendships and relationships you form with people will stay strong under the pressure? I believe, given the chance to show the true nature of things, people will buckle, real emotions will surface and the people you once knew becomes this creature you have never seen before.
For instance, money problems. Many relationships and friendships buckle under this subject just for a piece of paper. Understandable that this piece of paper is very important for living. Without it, you could not have a roof over your head, food in your belly or even the clothing on your back. Unfortunately, for myself, I haven't been able to buy myself new clothing in over 4 years (maybe some work clothing here and there). Priorities come first, such as rent, my car (to get to work), gas food, stuff like that. Companies and individuals do not only hold back against the 'green' they over work you for it. People who deserve it don't get enough of it and the people who don't flash it in front of the others all the time. Now, granted, not all the people are like this, but there is a reason for the stero-type to be there. Strong relationships still last, even when they live on the streets. Just recently I watched a family sit outside a fast food joint, no sign, not asking for anything. I watched a man come up to them, looked to be the father and pass out pieces of some burger. Curious, I followed them to where they stay at night, seems they sleep under a bridge not to far and the next day travel back to the same spot as Dad goes out to try and get food. Some things in live, isn't always about the money, it's about where you heart lies, how much pride you take in yourself to know how to stay strong for all the right reasons. Not because it'll make you look like a 'pussy' but because it'll make you look like a man (or woman :D).
The other and most famous of all the buggies out there is the liars. Oh, the liars always get to me. It takes a lot to make someone like me angry, I tell everyone that. Normally the first lie, okay, maybe you had your reasons. The second, yep, okaaaayyyy? The third.....? -____- Let's flip a table into your face, I'm done with you. I seriously take trust to heart, I will give you the world and help you with everything I have even if it isn't much. Need a ride home? Alright, give me time to get dressed. Need food? I got a few bucks, lets hit somewhere cheap to get you by. I have no problems with people and I do not make problems with people. You don't like me because of some rumor you heard from Joe? Excuse me, you do not personally know me, talk to me first, than maybe what Joe told you, you will realize is just a twisted lie yet again. Above all, don't lie about stupid things. If you are in a relationship, this is the easiest way to crumble a relationship. If you do crumble yet want so badly for it to work, than you have to WORK for it. Never expect anyone to hand you their heart back, it takes time, trust, and so many truthful actions, not words. If you really care about that person, don't lie to them, don't treat them like this little white lie cannot hurt, because it will, once they learn differently. And to the person being lied to, do not let it get to you, I know it will anyway, but still. They do not deserve your trust, your love, your need, your want or your friendship. Do not feel like it is your job to tell them sorry either, stop saying it, because they should be saying it to you. If they want you in their life, they will work for it, to make up for all the lies. If not, than brush your hands clean of that life and walk on. Your heart burns, your feet are numb, your tears run smoothly, but the walk feels so much better when you reach something better.
Above all, what happens after you brush clean of that life, don't go back to it, don't let them cry at your feet asking to come back. Don't let them drag you backwards and don't feel like every lie after that moment is a direct result of what they claim you did wrong. Things may have been your fault, but once you try to make an effort to fix them, yet they keep using and lying to you, it's not worth it.
In my opinion, to who is suffering from either being to kind, used, or cannot find the will to stand up for yourself against this, you're still a beautiful person, never let anyone take that from you. The world still needs people like you, please keep going. To those who are causing the suffering and pain, maybe you do not realize what you are doing, maybe you do realize it yet cannot handle the truth. Grow up, man up, whatever you want to call it. Get your head out of your small minded world and see not everything is going to be handed to you.
I am not saying I am perfect, I am not saying I am this abused, innocent little girl of never hurting anyone, but when I do hurt someone, I damn well do not do it purposely. When I realize what I have done, I do what I can do in order to fix it, that is the kind of person I am. Not many people do that, not many stand up and admit they did wrong, but once I realize my efforts are in vain, that the people I try to make up to keep lying, keep cheating, keep pushing me away, my efforts go to something else. That is when they come back, whine and moan that they made a mistake, yet it's to late. Learn from the lessons made and then maybe, just maybe, things will be different for you later in life....